Overview of 'The Honeymooners' Season 3

Episode 1 - Ralph's Sweet Tooth

Release Date: 1954-09-25

Ralph is getting paid one hundred dollars to be in a commercial for Choosy Chew Candy. He asks Norton to help him rehearse the lines he must memorize but ends up knowing less about what he has to say that when they first started. Later, Ralph gets a toothache. After unsuccessfully trying different remedies suggested by Alice and Norton, he finally goes to Dr. Durgom, the family dentist. The dentist wants to pull Ralph's tooth but when he steps out to answer a phone call, Ralph grabs a bottle of liquid pain killer and scrams. What Ralph doesn't know is that in order for it to work it must be refrigerated. Just before going on the air for the commercial, Ralph applies the pain killer. During the commercial he bites into the candy and starts rampaging around the set and through the Choosy Chew orchestra in excruciating pain.

Episode 2 - Game Called on Account of Marriage

Release Date: 1954-10-02

Ralph doesn't want to go to Alice's sister Sally's wedding because he has tickets to the world series. He and Alice battle it out with no resolution. Ralph meets Norton for lunch and they come up with a surefire scheme. They're going to trick Stanley, the groom, into eloping right away. That night Ralph and Norton show up at Sally's house with a ladder but Stanley is afraid of heights, so Ralph is stuck going up the ladder to get Sally's luggage. Sally and Stanley have a fight and call the whole thing off. Ralph climbs back up the ladder and starts tossing the luggage back through the window. Stanley and Sally return to announce they're going to elope after all, and off they go. As Ralph is taking down the ladder, a cop shows up and demands an explanation. Ralph tells him the whole story, and then the cop gives him the bad news: earlier in the day the New York Giants clinched the Series by winning four straight games.

Episode 3 - Love Letter

Release Date: 1954-10-16

Alice finds a love letter in the cookbook that she has borrowed from Trixie. Upon examination, Trixie reveals that the letter was written by Ed. Ralph also reads the letter -- and immediately assumes that Alice has a secret lover. Anxious to determine the identity of ""the other man,"" Ralph and Ed head down to the office of a handwriting analyst. Inevitably, she concludes that Ed was the author of the romantic note. Running time: 37:46 NOTE: After it's initial airing, this episode was lost. It was found in the University of Georgia's Peabody Archive. It aired only 1 additional time, on TV Land on 10/16/2004 (the 50th anniversary of it's original airing). MPI does intend to include this episode in the new, repackaged ""Lost Epiosde's"" DVD set due out 2005 - 2006. ""Love Letter"" was remade November 24, 1956 and it is this pisode that appears in syndication and on VHS & DVD.

Episode 4 - The People's Choice

Release Date: 1954-10-23

Morgan and Weaver, from a corrupt local political party, visit Ralph and ask him to run for assemblyman on their ticket. Ralph is so impressed with himself that the pair has him believe that he can be President some day. Alice suspects that the two men want Ralph to be their stooge, but Ralph interprets her skepticism as a lack of faith in him. The Kramdens and Nortons take to the streets to campaign. Morgan and Weaver see this and call Ralph an idiot for exposing himself to the public, and it begins to dawn on Ralph that maybe Alice is right. At a rally the next night, instead of giving the speech Morgan and Weaver prepared for him, Ralph tells his supporters that he is not qualified to run for office and that they should vote for his opponent.

Episode 5 - Halloween Party

Release Date: 1954-10-30

[LOST EPISODE] The Kramdens and Nortons don elaborate costumes in anticipation of attending a Halloween party. No sooner has Ralph ripped up his tuxedo, intending to create an ""elegant bum"" costume, than he learns that the party is actually a birthday party for his boss -- and formal attire is mandatory. Running time: ?:?? NOTE: This episode is not in syndication, but does appear on MPI home video, but not yet on DVD. MPI does intend to include this episode in the new, repackaged ""Lost Epiosde's"" DVD set due out 2005 - 2006. This episode was originally made as ""Halloween Party"" on October 31, 1953.

Episode 6 - Battle of the Sexes

Release Date: 1954-11-13

Ed moves in with Ralph and Alice moves in with Trixie after domestic battles in the Kramden and Norton households.

Episode 7 - Teamwork Beat the Clock

Release Date: 1954-11-20

Ralph and Alice are contestants on Beat the Clock. They succeed on their first stunt, where Alice has to propel a cup with a can of whipped cream into a net Ralph is holding in his teeth, and are in the middle of their second, where they have to catch lemons in a cup and stack the cups while keeping a balloon from hitting the ground, when time runs out and they're asked to return the next week. Of course they will -- a 21-inch color TV is at stake. Ralph and Alice practice their stunt at home, with Norton's help. Jerry, Alice's brother-in-law, arrives with the news that Alice's sister Helen is expecting their child any day. He has to leave town on business and he wants to know if the Kramdens will look after Helen while he's gone. As the Fickle Finger of Fate would have it, Helen goes into labor Saturday night, just before the Kramdens are supposed to be at the TV studio. Helen has twins, and Alice decides to stay with her. Norton accompanies Ralph to the studio, and the show's host, B

Episode 8 - The Brother-in-Law

Release Date: 1954-11-27

Alice's brother Frank is coming for dinner. Ralph has hated Frank ever since he cheated him out of a promotion when they both worked for the WPA. According to Ralph, Frank's ""a moocher, a swindler, and a bum!"" Frank antagonizes Ralph during dinner, and then tries to put the finger on him and Alice for five hundred dollars to buy a hotel in New Jersey that's located right where a new highway is supposed to be built. The Kramdens don't give him the money -- Alice agrees with Ralph this time -- but Ralph decides to steal Frank's idea and buy the hotel with the Nortons. Ralph becomes manager by winning a coin toss. Norton is the bellhop, Alice the cook, and Trixie the chambermaid. Norton says the hotel looks like ""the set for a Bela Lugosi picture,"" but miraculously they get it cleaned up. Their first guest is a surveyor with the highway-construction crew -- who tells Ralph and Norton that the highway isn't going to pass right in front of the hotel as they thought, but over it. It's an ele

Episode 9 - Songwriters

Release Date: 1954-12-11

Ralph's gonna get rich by writing hit songs. He gets the idea when he learns that the Raccoon Lodge has contracted to pay a professional songwriter one hundred dollars to write a lodge theme song -- and that the hundred dollars is peanuts compared with what the songwriter makes writing pop songs. Ralph's first step to stardom is to recruit Norton to play the piano and write the music to Ralph's lyrics. Ralph keeps Norton up all night trying to write songs, while waging running battles with Alice and McGarrity (a.k.a. Garrity). After failing at writing love songs, lullabies, and holiday songs, they hit on a novelty song and take it to a publisher. Ralph is crushed when the publisher says he loves the melody but hates the words, and that he wants to bring in a professional songwriter to write lyrics to Norton's music. In a rare gesture of unselfishness Ralph steps aside for Norton's sake. But Norton values his friendship with Ralph more than a musical career, and unbeknownst to Ralph, ta

Episode 10 - Santa And The Bookies

Release Date: 1954-12-18

This second version of the sketch is still considered lost.

Episode 11 - Kramden vs. Norton

Release Date: 1955-01-15

Ralph sues Norton over ownership of a television set Norton won in a movie theatre raffle.

Episode 12 - A Promotion

Release Date: 1955-01-22

It's Norton's birthday, the Kramdens are treating for a night out, and Ralph's looking to get off cheaply. He doesn't want the Nortons to think he's cheap, though, so he tells Alice to suggest that they go to the movies (instead of to the Kit Kat Club, where Norton took Ralph on his birthday). It's been a banner day for Norton -- he's gotten a new vest from Trixie, a hand-carved mahogany surf board from the boys in the sewer, and a monogrammed scarf from the Kramdens -- and going to the movies is the icing on Norton's cake when he has the winning ticket in a drawing for a television set. Ralph claims the set is his because he paid for the tickets, and a feud erupts. Ralph dismantles the set so no one can watch it, and he and Norton stop speaking to each other; they write notes instead. Things get so bad that the boys are reduced to playing pool with their wives. A bitter confrontation at the pool hall spills over into night court, where during Trixie and Alice's testimony, we learn tha

Episode 13 - The Hypnotist

Release Date: 1955-01-29

The International Order of Loyal Raccoons are planning a trip to Chicago for their annual convention, and to help get themselves in the mood for the festive occasion they've invited the Great Fatchamara -- ""the world's greatest hypnotist,"" and a Raccoon from Bayonne to the lodge to entertain them. He hypnotizes Ralph and Norton and tells Ralph he is Norton, and Norton, Ralph. He tells them they're at a bowling alley, and each acts as if he's the other: ""Ralph"" is angry because ""Norton"" wants to bowl first; ""Norton"" rolls a strike and finishes off his turn with a Nortonesque flourish of the arms. Before Fatchamara brings them out of their trances, he gives them a posthypnotic suggestion: whenever they're seated and hear the name Chicago, they'll think they're sitting on a bed of red-hot coals. The convention ought to be a riot -- Ralph's bringing a toy gun, a trick glass, chattering teeth, an electric prod, and paper bags to drop out the hotel window--but he may not get there because he

Episode 14 - Cupid

Release Date: 1955-02-05

The International Order of Loyal Raccoons are planning a trip to Chicago for their annual convention, and to help get themselves in the mood for the festive occasion they've invited the Great Fatchamara -- ""the world's greatest hypnotist,"" and a Raccoon from Bayonne to the lodge to entertain them. He hypnotizes Ralph and Norton and tells Ralph he is Norton, and Norton, Ralph. He tells them they're at a bowling alley, and each acts as if he's the other: ""Ralph"" is angry because ""Norton"" wants to bowl first; ""Norton"" rolls a strike and finishes off his turn with a Nortonesque flourish of the arms. Before Fatchamara brings them out of their trances, he gives them a posthypnotic suggestion: whenever they're seated and hear the name Chicago, they'll think they're sitting on a bed of red-hot coals. The convention ought to be a riot -- Ralph's bringing a toy gun, a trick glass, chattering teeth, an electric prod, and paper bags to drop out the hotel window--but he may not get there because he

Episode 15 - A Little Man Who Wasn't There

Release Date: 1955-02-12

Ralph and Norton run into Herman Gruber, a boyhood friend of Ralph's from P.S. 73. Herman isn't married yet, so Ralph decides to find him a girl. He calls Evelyn Fensterblau and asks her what she's doing the following night, and she hangs up on him. He has better luck with Charlotte Stadtelman from the bus company, who agrees to date Herman. The next day at the beauty parlor Trixie hears the latest gossip -- Ralph called Evelyn and asked her for a date! Trixie tells Alice, and when Alice confronts Ralph with the story he explains to Alice that he was calling Evelyn for Herman Gruber. Alice doesn't believe him, so Ralph decides to go to Charlotte's apartment to bring her and Herman home with him to explain things to Alice. While Ralph is there, Charlotte's jealous ex-boyfriend shows up and Ralph has to bluff his way out of a broken head. Back at Chauncey Street, Alice is donating some clothes to charity and transporting them in a suitcase. When Norton sees her carrying the suitcase he t

Episode 16 - Hero

Release Date: 1955-02-19

Ralph's big mouth lands him in trouble again when he makes idle boasts to a fatherless boy who idolizes him.

Episode 17 - The Great Jewel Robbery

Release Date: 1955-02-26

Ralph is collecting money from all the bus drivers for a wedding present for the boss's daughter. He hopes the gift will mean a raise for the drivers--and maybe a promotion for himself. It's Alice's birthday, and her mother pays a visit. As soon as Ralph comes home, a battle royal between him and Mrs. Gibson begins. A delivery boy from Steinhardt's jewelry store arrives with a package that contains a watch Ralph bought for the boss's daughter. Alice thinks it's her birthday gift and is ecstatic. She praises Ralph up and down to her mother, and Ralph, who forgot it was Alice's birthday, is too ashamed to tell the truth. Now Ralph has to figure out how to get the watch back without letting Alice know it isn't hers. He and Norton come up with scheme: Norton will get one of his pals to pose as a burglar, hold up the Kramdens, and take the watch. While Ralph and Norton are devising their plan, a real crook overhears them and decides to show up at the Kramdens' before Norton's friend gets th

Episode 18 - Peacemaker

Release Date: 1955-03-05

Ralph loses a night's sleep trying to patch up a quarrel between Ed and Trixie.

Episode 19 - The Adoption

Release Date: 1955-03-26

Ralph and Alice adopt a baby.

Episode 20 - Stars over Flatbush

Release Date: 1955-04-02

Norton has discovered astrology, and Ralph thinks he's nuts, especially when Norton tells him the stars say he shouldn't ask his boss, Mr. Malone, for the raise he planned to request that day. Norton also sees in the stars that Ralph will have an accident that day and will be rendered speechless. When a window falls on Ralph's hand and the pain is so great that he can't utter a sound, Ralph becomes hooked on the stars too. He doesn't ask for the raise, and Alice is furious when she learns the reason why. Ralph tells her the stars say he should ask for the raise Friday night at 11:30 P.M. Alice tries to explain to Ralph that he can't possibly be anywhere near his boss Friday night at that hour. As if appointed by destiny, in walks Freddie Muller with an invitation for the Kramdens to an engagement party he's giving for Mr. Malone, Friday night--from 9 P.M. to midnight. Next, Norton sees in Ralph's horoscope that he's going to have an encounter with a glamorous Aquarius. They figure that

Episode 21 - One Big Happy Family

Release Date: 1955-04-09

Norton has discovered astrology, and Ralph thinks he's nuts, especially when Norton tells him the stars say he shouldn't ask his boss, Mr. Malone, for the raise he planned to request that day. Norton also sees in the stars that Ralph will have an accident that day and will be rendered speechless. When a window falls on Ralph's hand and the pain is so great that he can't utter a sound, Ralph becomes hooked on the stars too. He doesn't ask for the raise, and Alice is furious when she learns the reason why. Ralph tells her the stars say he should ask for the raise Friday night at 11:30 P.M. Alice tries to explain to Ralph that he can't possibly be anywhere near his boss Friday night at that hour. As if appointed by destiny, in walks Freddie Muller with an invitation for the Kramdens to an engagement party he's giving for Mr. Malone, Friday night--from 9 P.M. to midnight. Next, Norton sees in Ralph's horoscope that he's going to have an encounter with a glamorous Aquarius. They figure that

Episode 22 - A Weighty Problem

Release Date: 1955-04-16

A bus-company inspector gets on Ralph's bus and tells him he's getting too fat to drive a bus. Ralph goes home and checks a bus company height and weight chart, and discovers that for his height--six feet tall--he's four pounds under the maximum weight for a man his height. Later that night, with a clear mind, he goes to the monthly Raccoon Lodge banquet and eats up a storm. After the feast, one of the Raccoons bets Ralph that he's not six feet tall, and it turns out he's right--Ralph's only 5 feet 11 inches! A five-foot-eleven bus driver is supposed to weight 238 pounds, and Ralph weighed 246--before the banquet. Ralph immediately goes on a diet, and being deprived of food turns him into a monster. Two days before his bus-company physical he's about to go over the edge: even a crossword puzzle in which one of the answers is Supreme Court Justice Frankfurter drives him nuts. The next day, Mrs. Manicotti is having a surprise party for her husband, and she wants to hide the food for the

Episode 23 - Boys and Girls Together

Release Date: 1955-04-23

The Kramdens have new next-door neighbors--the Fallons, from Bayonne. Ralph welcomes the new guy by inviting him to join him and Norton for pool, bowling, and lodge meetings, but Fallon is busy all the nights Ralph and Norton go out together--he spends all those nights with his wife. Alice, who earlier had been stood up for a movie date with Ralph because he had to bowl with the Hurricanes, feels like a discarded dishrag next to Mrs. Fallon. Later, Trixie tells Alice that she read in a magazine that the reason men spend so much time apart from their wives is because the wives let themselves go and allow their marriages to become dull and predictable. The girls make a pact to bring romance back to Chauncey Street. When Ralph comes home the next night and finds the apartment lit by candlelight, his first reaction is to accuse Alice of forgetting to pay the electric bill. Alice is prepared though: fancy clothes, hugs and kisses, a bushel of compliments, a roast-beef dinner, and romantic m

Episode 24 - Principle of the Thing

Release Date: 1955-04-30

When the building landlord (Jack Benny in a surprise cameo) refuses to make repairs to the Kramden apartment, Ralph withholds the rent money and spends it on some garish redecorating.

Episode 25 - Songs and Witty Sayings

Release Date: 1955-05-14

Ralph and Norton have entered the annual amateur night at the Halsey Theater, where the grand prize is two hundred dollars. Their act consists of a mind-reading bit, jokes and a Laurel and Hardy impersonation, and a song-and-dance routine. When Ralph comes home from work, he discovers he and Norton are going to have some stiff competition: Alice and Trixie are doing a hula song and dance. Ralph is against Alice's performing, but Norton is more understanding; Trixie had been in burlesque, he tells Ralph, and has the tradition of the theater to uphold. Alice knows Ralph is afraid she and Trixie may win, and she appeals to his pride. Ralph not only accepts her challenge but bets her ten dollars he and Norton will win and promises to eat her grass skirt if she and Trixie win. Ralph and Norton are up past midnight rehearsing, and Alice and Garrity, are anything but a captive audience. The ""restaurant sketch"" they rehearse, in which Norton does a Stan Laurel impersonation as a customer who

Episode 26 - Letter to the Boss

Release Date: 1955-05-21

This is a second version of the sketch originally broadcast on November 14, 1953.

Episode 27 - Stand In for Murder

Release Date: 1955-06-04

This is a second, completed version of the sketch originally broadcast on April 17, 1954.