And Not a Drop to Drink
A mishap in the car wash results in Dudley getting soaking wet and waxed to a showroom finish. Susan goes dancing with her boyfriend, Dave, returns home tipsy on double vodka's and has to be helped into bed, although she is still under eighteen. Her father loses his temper and she considers joining the army, until she learns they only have one colour in their uniforms; and that they have separate barracks for the men. Seeking advice on dealing with Susan's drinking, Dudley bribes Duncan with an offer of lunch at the Cafe Royal; it turns out to be the Royal Cafe, which caters for lorry drivers. Duncan suggests giving Susan a whole bottle of vodka to drink, the theory being it will make her sick as a dog and put her off alcohol for life. Dudley joins his daughter and matches her drink for drink with Scotch whiskey, unaware that Muriel has substituted the vodka for tap water.