Michael Jackson introduces Janet Jackson for the first time; he tells The Osbournes to tone down their swearing. The Bear interviews Christine Hamilton. Avid's odd neighbour Ozzey discovers that he is keeping Craig Phillips hostage. Avid tries to meet Geri Halliwell at a book signing but is ejected but security guards. Craig David wants to break America, but mistakenly flies to Majorca instead. Avid meets Keith Duffy in a pub. David Blaine performs a trick in the street. Will Young is interviewed by a computer for Celebrity Test.

• Leigh Francis

• Sean Pertwee
• Jimmy Carr
• Cameron Diaz