New readers start here - Kenneth Everett, he of the tinkling laughter, twinkling eyes and twisted truss, presents a weekly half-hour of wicked wackiness. Should you choose to read on, you will be taking a trip from London to Brighton in four minutes, meeting Chris Rea and his band and exploring certain organs of Joan Collins. Dear reader - how can you resist ? Join Kenny tonight. End of chapter.

• Peter Mayhew
• Richard Johnson
• Burt Kwouk