Roy puts notes around the house so as he doesn't forget his wedding anniversary, Gloria the angry petrol pump attendant refuses to sell cigarettes to a man dressed as a schoolgirl, Clive tries to keep track of Curtis 24/7 by using a video camera, Pope displays his security service of nuns, Unsuitable Bloke applies to be a picture restorer but gets rejected, so he puts it down to being black and gets the job. Afterwards, he smokes when using meths to remove a stain on a painting, causing the painting to set alight. In the Polar Bear Family sketch, Barry tries to make sure he doesn't get tranquillized. Also includes The Essex Witch Project, a take on The Blair Witch Project and as a fish shop owner, Lenny Henry has a fight with one of his staff.

• Alison Steadman
• Lenny Henry