Onion News Network (2011)
Onion News Network is a parody television news show. The show premiered its ten-episode first season on January 21, 2011, at 10:00 p.m. EST on IFC. In March 2007, The Onion launched The Onion News Network, a daily web video broadcast that had been in production since sometime in mid-2006. The Onion invested about $1 million in production and hired 15 staffers to focus on the venture. Carol Kolb, former Editor-in-Chief of The Onion is the ONN's head writer; and Will Graham is the showrunner and Executive Producer. It is implied on-air that the ONN show "FactZone with Brooke Alvarez" is "simulcasted" on IFC Friday nights at 10pm ET.
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Episode 1 - Asteroid Heads to Earth
Release Date: 2011-10-04With a giant asteroid expected to hit Earth on October 4th, the Onion News Network has announced it will continue broadcasting until the moment the planet is destroyed.
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Episode 2 - Missing Baby Kate
Release Date: 2011-10-11Cross Examination's Shelby Cross leads a crusade to rip through every home in America to search for missing one-year-old Baby Kate. In the FactZone, Brooke and the ONN team reveal an extremist obese society's foiled attempts to kidnap Michelle Obama and O'Brady Shaw takes a drunk driving victim's death so personally that the victim's family must take a break from their own grief to comfort O'Brady. In other news, reports show that the iPhone 5 will come conveniently packaged with rumors about the iPhone 6.
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Episode 3 - Fantasy Brainwall
Release Date: 2011-10-18FactZone introduces its newest piece of technology: an updated touchscreen that Tucker can control with his mind. Unfortunately for Tucker, the new "Brainwall" starts to display Tucker's darkest thoughts. Also, O'Brady's compassion for stray earthquake victims goes a little too far, when he starts "mercifully" killing dogs to relieve them after the disaster. Brooke reports on a coma-bound Republican Presidential candidate who is polling surprisingly well due to his lack of politically disastrous gaffes, and Rapper Kanye West faces down the nation of Syria in a Twitter battle over who was chanting first.
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Episode 4 - Dead Reporter
Release Date: 2011-10-25FactZone says goodbye to legendary newsman, Brandon Armstrong, who was killed in a brothel fire. Shelby Cross admonishes parents not to let their children trick-or-treat during Halloween, or what she refers to as the "Pedophiles' Christmas." Autistic Reporter, Michael Falk, asks the tough questions about a search and rescue mission's dismal chances of finding missing hikers and the First Responders react to the latest GOP debate, that they may or may not have even watched.
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Episode 5 - Exposed, Brooke Alvarez
Release Date: 2011-11-01A revealing documentary airs on public television about Brooke Alvarez's secret life as a Russian child cosmonaut . Brooke is forced to relive the traumatizing experience of being trapped in a space shuttle with a vicious chimpanzee named Mr. Dmitry. Also, the U.S. government hires the genius behind Zico coconut water to try to help America out of its economic hole and a prostitute is caught paying Mitt Romney for sex.
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Episode 6 - Today Now! Special
Release Date: 2011-11-11The network morning show stages a very special takeover.
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Episode 7 - Sex in America
Release Date: 2011-11-18A report on sex in America.
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Episode 8 - Artificial Intelligence
Release Date: 2011-11-25The studio gains artificial intelligence and falls in love with Brooke, millions across the country are dangerously trapped in an Animal Hoarders marathon, and Jean Anne Whorton investigates the cruel underground blood sport of spouse fighting.
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Episode 9 - Brooke vs. O'Brady
Release Date: 2011-12-02O'Brady Shaw joins Brooke on FactZone as her cohost to promote his new special "The Cries of the Children." A loud woman accountant is bothering the whole nation with her grating chatter. And a new weight loss drug is being released onto the market that curbs eating by making the user hallucinate that their food is a swarm of vicious, bloodthirsty monsters.
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Episode 10 - Year in Review
Release Date: 2011-12-09The gang looks back on 2011.