Sven Goran-Erikkson is with the Beckhams and David and Paul Scholes are playing football. Richard Desmond has given the government a huge sum of cash. Trevor McDonald does a report in Text message talk. Bill Gates showes his family their new house, House 2001. Their old house was house 2000 but this one's the same only more expensive.

• Alistair McGowan
• Enn Reitel
• Jan Ravens