Never the Twain (1981)
Never the Twain is a British sitcom that ran for eleven series from 7 September 1981 to 9 October 1991. It was created by Johnnie Mortimer, and was the only sitcom he ever created without his usual writing partner, Brian Cooke. Mortimer wrote the entirety of the first two series and four episodes out of six of the eighth, with the rest being mainly written by Vince Powell and John Kane. It starred Windsor Davies and Donald Sinden as rival antique dealers, and also starred Derek Deadman, Zara Nutley, Robin Kermode, Tacy Kneale, Julia Watson, Honor Blackman, Teddy Turner and Maria Charles. The title is taken from the Rudyard Kipling poem; The Ballad of East and West.
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Episode 1 - Who's Been Sleeping In My Bed ?
Release Date: 1982-09-07Simon nominates Oliver for membership of his golf club. Oliver holds a function for the committee members to win their support. Lyn and David are on their honeymoon and return to find Oliver and Simon quarrelling over their wedding presents.
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Episode 2 - As Young As You Feel
Release Date: 1982-09-14Simon and Oliver seek to win Veronica's affections. Oliver reaches the age of 50. Lyn is concerned about her father being lonely, but David is concerned about the amount of time she spends with him.
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Episode 3 - A Woman's Place ...
Release Date: 1982-09-21David and Lyn quarrel about her taking a full-time job. Oliver seeks a new cleaner. Simon is losing to Oliver in a telephone chess game and becomes suspicious about Oliver's apparent skill at the game.
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Episode 4 - Blood Brothers
Release Date: 1982-09-28Simon needs a blood transfusion, but he has a rare blood type. Oliver has the same blood type and agrees to donate in return for favours from Simon, including dating Veronica.
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Episode 5 - lf You Knew Susan
Release Date: 1982-10-05Simon's sister visits him and Oliver immediately falls for her. Simon and Oliver each purchase one of a pair of figurines and then attempt to purchase the others to make a valuable pair.
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Episode 6 - The More We Are Together
Release Date: 1982-10-12Oliver and Simon each separately consider reforming their partnership due to the poor state of their accounts and the imminent arrival of the taxman.