A letter from the mayor's office suggests that a royal personage will be gracing Bayview with a visit. Diana, already even more crotchety than ever, due to a painfully swollen foot, does not share Tom's monarchist views and holds forth on the pointlessness of the royals. Just as predictably the royal visit turns out to be very much less 'royal' than expected.

• Michael Aitkens
• Michael W. Watkins

• Janine Duvitski
• Graham Crowden
• Stephanie Cole