President Stan's new statue is anally violated, so Stan calls upon the Xtacles to solve the mystery. When it is determined that a gorilla must have done it, Taggart blames a criminal named Rape Ape (who he just invented). Naturally, no file exists for such a criminal, so the Xtacles move to Rapier Ape, a retired ape fencer who they assume to have taken raping to a new level. A massacre of Rapier Ape's restaurant ensues and Rapier Ape is brutally beaten for his "crime," while the actual gorilla proceeds to rape Stan's new statue.

• Matt Thompson

• Rachael Harris
• Michael Ian Black
• Marshall Bell