You Can't Do That on Television (1979)
You Can't Do That on Television is a Canadian television program that first aired locally in 1979 before airing internationally in 1981. It featured pre-teen and teenaged actors in a sketch comedy format. Each episode had a theme. The show was notable for launching the careers of many performers, including Alanis Morissette, and writer Bill Prady, who would write and produce shows like The Big Bang Theory, Gilmore Girls and Dharma and Greg. The show was produced by and aired on Ottawa's CTV station CJOH-TV. After production ended in 1990, the show continued in reruns on Nickelodeon through 1994, when it was replaced with the similar All That. The show is synonymous with Nick, and was at that time extremely popular, with the highest ratings overall on the channel. The show is also well known for introducing the network's iconic slime. The program is the subject of the 2004 feature-length documentary, You Can't Do That on Film, directed by David Dillehunt.
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Episode 1 - Pets
Release Date: 1983-10-05Kermit the Frog Tries to Cross the Highway will not be seen at this time so that we may present... The cast looks at all of the pets people have, some normal, some very strange.
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Episode 2 - Rules & Regulations
Release Date: 1983-10-03Mister Rogers' Neighborhood will not be seen because the neighborhood has been declared unsafe. Ross forces the cast to follow new rules that the Union has made for child actors. Lisa is forced to eat a mud pie and loses her voice.
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Episode 3 - Manners or Bad Habits
Release Date:Laverne and Shirley Go to Finishing School will not be seen at this time so that we may present... The show's producers have written a book of manners, which Christine tries to explain.
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Episode 4 - Medicine
Release Date:General Hospital will not be seen at this time so that we may present... ""Doctor"" Lisa and ""nurse"" Luke help Christine, who has broken her leg just before show time.
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Episode 5 - Future World
Release Date:Life on Earth will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine learns to tell fortunes using a crystal ball. The cast also looks at the world of computers, and how they can help with the routines of daily life.
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Episode 6 - Media
Release Date: 1983-10-03You Can't Do That on Television will not be seen at this time so that we may present... In a drastic effort to improve ratings, Ross has Kevin burned at the stake. In the sketches, the cast looks at how advertisers try to get our attention.
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Episode 7 - Inequality: Kids vs. Adults
Release Date:The following program contains scenes that may not be suitable for mature audiences. Juvenile discretion is advised. The adult dressing room catches fire, and the kids have to put it out. Then the kids have to sacrifice their clothes so that the adults can resume shooting Richard III. The sketches are about how different kids and adults are treated.
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Episode 8 - Nature
Release Date:The Waltons Move to Mt. Saint Helens will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Kevin goes away on a camping trip, leaving Christine to listen to Lisa's constant chatter.
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Episode 9 - Cooking
Release Date:The Pillsbury Dough Boy (Serves Six) will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine takes up cooking, but she isn't good at it. They end up using her muffins as bricks.
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Episode 10 - Classical Music
Release Date:Pavarotti Sings the Blues will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine takes up conducting as a hobby. In the sketches, the cast examines different musical instruments.
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Episode 11 - Rumors
Release Date:Miss Piggy Sues the National Enquirer will not be seen at this time so that we may present... After the star is taken off her dressing room door and the locks are changed, rumors spread throughout the cast that Christine was fired.
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Episode 12 - Fame
Release Date:Fame will not be seen at this time, but is desperately sought after by each member of our cast. Kevin decides to quit the show and become a big celebrity. He changes his name to Kevin Ilyanovich Rasputin Kubusheskie. Unfortunately, he isn't successful and he becomes desperate, resorting to playing the kid in the street interviews segment of the show, and even disguising himself as a letter in the closing credits.
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Episode 13 - Priorities
Release Date:You Can't Do That on Television will not be seen today in order that we may get your priorities straight. Ross is too busy watching a baseball game on TV to direct the show, so the cast is on their own to make the show.